So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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