Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Randomize
