she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
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Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
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Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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