His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
