We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Randomize
