you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
