Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
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