I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
