This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
