I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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