i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
