its not stalking. its research.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
