I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Randomize
