People in love make me want to vomit
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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