i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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