I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
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