There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
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