Me. At least after what I've been through.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
