I murdered the dance floor call the cops
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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