They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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