How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
