I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Randomize
