In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
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