Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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