matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
