billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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