I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
