never play flip cup with pint glasses
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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