hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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