I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Boobs speak an international language.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
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