Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize