I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
We don't watch enough power rangers
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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