Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Randomize
