I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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