think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Randomize
