her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Randomize
