Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
