And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Actions speak louder than pants.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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