My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Randomize
