Sry I called you an 8
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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