Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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