Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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