i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
