no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
