She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize