Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Randomize
