You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
