mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
