Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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