Yo dont text me then not text me
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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