Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
