So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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