i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
she was so not down for the gang bang
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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