ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
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