Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
