I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
