What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
