Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
