names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
