Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
