There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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