How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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