i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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