I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
