He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
