I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
