Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
it was like eating out sand paper
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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