Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
