At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
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