There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
